The Bahamas is a tried and trusted tour location of many a Bermuda side; but this year the Renegades would be breaking new ground. Or perhaps ‘new water’ is more appropriate as the Renegades set sail aboard the NCL Norwegian Sky cruise ship.

Destination: Nassau
Objective: Bahamas National team.
Tolerance: lose less than 10% of your party to the Caribbean

Multiple Renegades assembled from Wales, Ireland, Cayman, Venezuela & San Diego to compliment an already strong Bermuda contingent.

The Norwegian Sky would become our home, our sanctuary, our watering hole, our training pitch and our church for the next three days.

True to form, the first challenge presented itself the moment we stepped foot on the boat: NCL had swapped their itinerary around.

Not a problem if you are hefty American tourist who has to swim with the pigs on the Sunday instead of the Saturday; a little bit of a problem if you are a highly specialized gaggle of Renegades tasked with taking down the Bahamas National Team on a specific time and day.

Luckily since the Colombian BBQ fiasco of ‘17, only vaguely competent people are allowed on the tour committee.

Our coach and chief E-tank filler might have a hips-to-knees-to-feet ratio that has baffled the brightest scientific brains for decades, but they are all agreed on the fact he has vague competence running through his veins. Barry rearranged the match before the lads could even countenance the cancellation of the fixture.

The news the game had been moved a day forward a day didn’t slow the Renegades down. When presented with unlimited food and drink there were highly predictable results. NCL had to put a limit on the amount of time you can now revisit the buffet and they have also cancelled the unlimited ice cream. Jahan noted he needed an ice-cream in each hand to help with balancing as the sea was a bit choppy.

The touring party landed on the shores of Nassau on Saturday morning ready for the game against the Bahamas National Team. Although there were the usual complaints (too hot, too dehydrated, too far to the stadium etc.) the conditions and pitch were in fine fettle for the match about to unfold.

Although not formally negotiated, it seemed both teams agreed that defense was not a necessary component of rugby this day, as both teams ran in plenty of tries. And missed plenty of tackles.

The Renegades staggered around like a bunch of drunken sailors when they didn’t have the ball; coach Barry tried to raise the team spirit by opining this was possibly the 2nd worst defensive display he had ever seen.

When in attack it was a different story as the Renegades looked like scoring every time they had possession and managed to run in multiple tries, winning the game 46-42. There were a few memorable moments in the game: Mikey received the ball in space and somehow fell over face first into the pitch; Louis/Ewan attempted to kick for goal but it somehow went backwards; Mossy ranted something in intelligible Spanish before losing his cool.

Bahamas were good hosts and after the Renegades also won the boat race we had to head back to the cruise ship as NCL were adamant they wouldn't wait for anybody late to board. On route we stopped at a local bar which could modestly be described as a shed balanced on poles in the water. It was nice to jump in the water with a beer after a hard fought game, it was less nice to get out as quickly as possible upon learning there were bull sharks in the water at this time of the day. It was great to see the tour rookies bonding as they attempted to hoist fellow rookie Clive-Dog out the water as he harangued them with words of encouragement.

Once safely aboard the boat there was one more day where the Renegades could sip pina coladas and bask in the knowledge they had done what they had set out to achieve.

Tour Review:
Location: 7/10 - changed without needing to move
Cleanliness: 4/10 - Niall had to throw is Yeezy Boost Trainers overboard after stepping in dog droppings
Accommodation: 6/10 - close to the pubs & buffet, but no windows
Safety: 8/10 - boat rocked a little
Value: 9/10 - amount of food and drink consumed would have cost over 100k on Front Street